Why You Can’t Sleep — and Why It’s Not Just About Sleep Hygiene
We’ve all heard the advice: turn off your phone, dim the lights, avoid caffeine, take magnesium, meditate.
And while all of these things can help, they often don’t touch the real reason so many of us still find ourselves wide awake at 2 a.m. — wired, restless, and exhausted.
Because the real truth is that you don’t have a sleep problem, you have a regulation problem.
Sleep is simple in design — but fragile in practice
Your body was built to sleep. It’s one of the most natural processes you have.
But like all natural systems, sleep depends on safety.
When your nervous system is running on high alert, it doesn’t care that the day is over or that you have an early meeting. It cares about survival.
Stress hormones like cortisol stay high, while the sleep hormone melatonin stays low.
The brain’s alarm centre — the amygdala — stays switched on, and the part of your brain that says “you’re safe, you can rest now” (the prefrontal cortex) goes offline.
In other words, your body thinks you’re being chased by a bear, even when you’re just lying in bed replaying your day.
When safety goes offline, so does sleep
We live in a culture that glorifies being “always on.”
Our days are filled with noise, deadlines, and mental load — and then we expect our bodies to instantly switch off at night.
But sleep doesn’t respond to logic; it responds to signals of safety.
If your body doesn’t feel safe, it won’t let you rest — no matter how many sleep hacks you try.
That’s why the first step to better sleep isn’t in your bedroom.
It’s in your nervous system.
The nervous system: your internal sleep switch
Think of your nervous system like a seesaw.
One side is the stress response — fight, flight, or freeze.
The other is the rest and repair response — the state your body needs to enter to sleep deeply and restore.
When stress becomes your baseline — long days, constant pressure, emotional strain — that seesaw gets stuck. You can feel both exhausted and alert at the same time: the classic wired but tired feeling.
This is why traditional “sleep hygiene” only works for some people. It targets the environment, not the system. But if you can regulate the system, everything changes.
Heart-brain coherence: the missing link
One of the fastest and most effective ways to bring your body back into balance is through heart-brain coherence — a science-based practice that helps you regulate in real time.
By intentionally slowing and balancing your heart rhythms, you send a powerful signal to your brain: It’s safe to relax.
Your physiology shifts from stress to calm.
Cortisol lowers. Melatonin rises.
And your body naturally prepares for sleep — the way it was always designed to.
This isn’t about controlling or forcing anything.
It’s about creating the internal conditions where your body feels safe enough to let go.
Rest is not a reward — it’s a biological need
Somewhere along the way, we started believing we had to earn rest.
That sleep is something we get to have once everything else is done.
But here’s what I want you to consider.
You don’t earn the right to breathe, and you don’t earn the right to sleep.
Sleep is not a luxury — it’s the foundation for everything else: clarity, energy, connection, and joy.
Choosing to rest isn’t lazy. It’s an act of rebellion against a culture that profits from your exhaustion.
It’s how you reclaim your energy and live by choice, not by default.
A new way forward
If you’re ready to stop fighting your body for rest — and start working with it — join me for the Rewiring for Sleep Webinar.
We’ll explore the three powerful shifts that can help you:
Reset your nervous system so your body feels safe enough to sleep
Reconnect with your body’s natural rhythms
Realign your nights — and your days — for the life you actually want to live
🌙 Rewiring for Sleep Webinar
🕰️ Coming up on 29th October 2025
👉 Register here
Because sleep isn’t just something you do.
It’s the foundation for who you become.
With heart,
Alicia
Founder, Becoming Conscious
